MSN Poem

Meaningless Silent Nattering
Conversation destroying, shattering
Whatever happened to talking out loud,
what ever happened to laughing out loud, sorry, LOL

OK I know it helps in some cases
But please, only if people are in different places
Conversations in offices just metres apart
You’re close enough to hear the other one fart

I wonder if soon there’ll be another abbreviation
For example, a nudge with the letters F.O.L with vibration
Out to lunch, on the phone, BRB in a while
We even use our fingers instead of our mouths now to smile

Finally we meet the person we chat to on screen
Hi how you doing, how have you been?
Silence ensues, no keyboard to tap
No smiley face icons, sorry I BRB

What will my slogan be, what’s my mood today
What will I type that Im too shy to say
This relationship is boring, I can dump her on here
Then she wont see me crying in my beer

Morse code then telegrams internet and skype
What will be next? No more need to type?
Of course now its possible to speak the words, they appear
Voice recognition but be sure and speak clear

I’ve heard embarrassing stories where words were heard wrong
And people waiting in places sometimes all night long
For example, see you at 7, please don’t come with a rose
Then find out the next day, they were arrested, no clothes

Even mobile phones are no longer for talking
They are even a companion when we’re alone outside walking
It seems we can’t live without a phone in our hand
as I write this, im sending an sms with one hand

But they do have their uses while we are out in a car
Invented for women to call us when they’re outside the bar
Blow into this, talk into that,
Alcohol shows and your bill shows the chat

At the moment of impact you were using your phone
You should of texted darling, I will never be home
There’s more than alcohol that shows on your breath
Verdict, not accidental, Textingmental, cause of death

You can say what you want, then pretend it’s a joke
Just put a smiley face, is smiley a woman or a bloke?
No ears or hair sometimes a tongue that spins
You can put two together if you want, you got twinsJJ

But it’s hard to understand without seeing real eyes
What you type sometimes wears a cunning disguise
Msn makes us lazy in so many ways
Chatting online instead of enjoying nice days

Even when chatting we do things that I hate
We use annoying abbreviations like ‘OW R U M8’
Have you ever used the icon ‘in a call’
Like that really matters I can’t hear F..K all

It gives children the ability to be really obscene
Mum wont understand even if she does see the screen
‘I hope you’re doing homework and not chatting to friends’
Now we see the dangers substituting keyboards for pens

The busy icon what’s that all about
If you’re busy then work and just log out
When you come back send a nudge or just knock
If you don’t wanna talk to someone you can simply click block

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Mat Horne Fire sighter

Gavin and Stacey, Horne and Corden, now it's Mathew Horne reporter. He was one of the first on the scene with his camera, maybe the very first :) It's all just another example of the power of Twitter, I was actually watching Sky News but they were not as quick as Fire spotter Horne as he beamed pictures of the fire at the Bream building on Londons Chancery lane.
With the Gala of his new film Lesbian Vampire Killers iminent it seems this guy is literally the 'Hottest' thing in London at the moment

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Tims Lovejoys' Channel Bee TV

Tim Lovejoy who presents SFTW on BBC2 Sunday mornings also has a fantastic website Channel Bee check it out to see a selection of funny, amusing videos http://channelbee.com/
http://banterpit.channelbee.com/ Come here there's more http://media.channelbee.com/fridaygag/090319gag.html
http://media.channelbee.com/fridaygag/fridaygag1.html
http://channelbee.com/move/gags#2554
Butcher sues West Ham http://channelbee.com/move/gags#2553
R2D2 hates C3PO http://channelbee.com/move/programmes/stories#2559
Eric Cantonas new TV Advert
Tim Snowboarding banana style http://tinyurl.com/d7fh55
What a 'View' http://tinyurl.com/cflj6l