Day one 11-13pm

I love the short ad breaks during Celebrity Big Brother, but this is surely a sign of the lack of interest from companies who see no value in the advertising space available. This has to be because of the lack of genuine celebrities on show in the greenhouse.

Whore to macaw carer Heidi is actually growing on me, I think she will go a long way and to be honest a 27 day sentence will be nothing after her previous 37 month incarceration with some of the toughest women in America, although Alex in a dress is pretty scary.

Nicola is not doing herself or others in the same profession any favours whatsoever and once again proving if she didn't get her tits out she would probably just be another slag getting her thong out on the dance floor to Sisqo songs. I love the way she doesn't know who anyone is and doesn't even try to hide that fact, I guess that's where Stephanie shows her class.

We have had Bradjoleena , Jedward and Stubrina, all cleverley shortened duo abbreviations and as you can see are all made up of both first names. Let's hope the use of christian names continues to be the case especially concerning what is looking likely to be the first romance amongst this years housemates Katie and Bass Hunter.

Heidi is using a less subtle approach in her quest for the cage fighter as she asked 'Are you married? Do you have any kids? How old are you? and are you on TV every week?

Vinnie will be finding God to keep him company on his acrylic sheets thanks to Father Baldwin who himself whilst sitting on the waltzer car in the diary room admitted he is falling in love with Stephanie, if only platonically.

Sov is very quiet which is good news, Sisqo is rather shy but seems to be bonding with Alex and Vinnie will get on with everyone, we all love Vinnie don't we? So as the shutters went down on day one of CBB it crushed Baldwins mic, not to be confused with Mike Baldwin who had an affair with Deirdre Barlow the wife of Ken who recently had an affair with the character played by Stephanie Beacham in coronation street, wow this is just like a soap opera. If you want to know what happens in the next episode tune into the next episode of CBB.

Some of your tweets

@handbagpets Am killing myself...Thick big breasted woman asks Hollywood star 'What do you do for a living? classic

@timlovejoy I met sov at downing street once and i said hi, she said 'this is shit innit' haha brilliant!