Manchenders, real 'Live' drama

It was ambitious, over 40 cameras, 60 crew and a line up of actors who had never attempted anything like this before. No second take, no can we do that bit again, this was it, live and die by what happens in the 30 minutes of Eastenders ‘Who killed Archie Mitchell’.

That’s not live, days of rehearsals, script meetings, dummy runs, script tweaks and yet more rehearsals. Actors paid thousands of pounds to deliver a few lines?

If its real live drama you want, look no further than the aftermath of a celebrity charity dance show and Twitter. Jason Manford finished his judging duties on Let’s Dance and if I may say so even brought a little drama to it showing he isn’t just a comic genius and voice over expert. The whole country wanted Katy to go through, but quick thinking by the cheeky chappy from Manchester quickly came up with a reason to vote for Casualty and Holby, citing his wife, Mum and Grandmothers love of the shows. Inevitably Katy Brand, who actually bore a striking resemblance to a cross between Katie Price and Joe Brand, joined the brilliant Rufus Hound in the final thanks to that girl from Girls allowed to sing (Unfortunately) Kimberley Walsh having the casting vote.

If that wasn’t enough drama for you, the real stuff was yet to come, yet more from Mr Manford and another popular twitterer Emma Kennedy, a novelist probably best known for ‘The tent, the bucket and me’. They met each other for the first time back stage at the ‘Let’s dance’ show, I will let these 2 take the story up from here, in what I like to call

‘Manchenders’

An exuberant Emma back from Let's Dance shows her excitement and delight at Katy Brand Joining Rufus in the final,” WAHHOOOO for @katyfbrand and I FINALLY got to meet Jason Manford and what a lovely man he is. Kisses all round, you were bloody lovely! X”

“So were YOU xxx” proclaims Jason. “It's been suggested on twitter we ‘Get a room’, can you meet me at Watford Gap Services, I think there's a conference room at the Days Inn”.
Emma is also amused by the amount of people telling her the same so she books into the Dorchester and waits with excitement.
Jason realises “That's us two, different sides of the street, I'm rough n ready at the Days Inn, you're elegantly dressed at the Dorchester”

Emma laughs,” How funny is that. I pick the Dorchester. You pick the Watford Gap. Oh Jason. Having said that, I'm on my way”, she reaches into her bag for some breath freshener and gives a couple of squirts in anticipation. Jason waits in his Days Inn conference room with 2 portions of chips, reading 'The Tent, the Bucket & me' to be used as an ice breaker.
Emma clutching at straws for some commonality between them conjures up “But we both like chips Jason. No one can ever take THAT away from us, I am in a taxi on my way to you now”.

Jason's expectations of a great night ahead are dashed as he sees her tweets to others online about watching the curling live on BBC2, he checks the timeline and asks himself how is she watching the Olympics in a taxi? Realisation hits him and he eats both portions of chips and checks out.

Emma reassures Jason that “It's a futuristic taxi, like the one in Fifth Element, or Total Recall”.
and she urges the taxi driver to “HURRY UP”

Jason gets in the car & puts Eric Carmen's 1975 classic 'All By Myself' on full blast & sings through the tears, his driver is not happy. He turns the music down just in time for Jason to hear his name being screamed over 4 junctions away, he gets out of the car & starts to run, run like the wind. Just then Emma arrives at the ‘Days Inn reception. “What do you mean Mr Manford has checked out?" she turns and looks as sad as ET on his back in the river.

Jason runs past Burger King shouting EMMA, he rips his shirt off and runs bare chested in the rain, but then turns and goes back to find his shirt as it's -2 degrees. Emma chases after him on a bicycle she stole whilst shouting "JAAAASON! JAAAAAAAAAASON!"

Jason with freezing fingers manages to put his wet shirt back on and runs, 2 portions of chips laying heavy in his stomach, he doesn't see the lorry. Emma hears the screeching of tyres, throws her bike to the floor and runs like her life depended on it, she sees Jason running shirtless, in the rain, turns to all the girls on Twitter and winks ;) (No time for a twitpic then)?

Emma gasps and in her eagerness to reach her dying date twists her ankle, falls to the floor and screams as Jason lays there after being struck by the lorry, she crawls to his broken body, shakes his lifeless form, his iphone falls out, plays Angry Bird as Jason clings to his last breath (which smells of Cauliflower) "It....was....nice....to....tweet you Emma...." he mumbles and fades away into the night air. Soft! Jason shifts slightly, Emma puts down the iPhone even if the Angry Bird score is the highest she'd ever got and says, "Jason?"

Jason floats up to heaven and sees all the people he's ever loved, but they seem angry and are all asking the same question, "Why did you vote for Casualty?" they ask in unison. For added drama Jason manages to squeeze out a final 'One liner’ being the comedian he is, he directs and cuts to the End scene. This was a Twitter Production. "Sit Ubu Sit" "I made this"

A distraught Emma blinks, raises a fist to the heavens and yells* "By Grabthar's Hammer, you SHALL be avenged”

Jason even manages an encore as he reminds us all “Don't forget to tune into Twitter+1 if you missed the start of "Romeo & Twuliet" and Emma puts his mind at rest and tells him, “No worries, I've Twy-plussed it”

Fin