An ascending profession

After reading an article in 'Stylist' by the much read and respected Grace Dent about 'Lap dancing clubs' I felt compelled to give a males point of view and run a few of my ideas up the pole.

Russell Brand was used as an example to make the assumption that just because someone has endless amounts of money and opportunities at his disposal is in some way a barometer of his class. I hardly think Brand is a role model of anything that is decent or morally correct, he is certainly not in the running to win Mr Tasteful 2010 and definitely is not a true reflection of 'Modern man'.

He seems to have met his perfect match though in Katy Perry which only highlights the fact that he made the right choice of venue to celebrate his forthcoming marriage. I can remember back when all my friends were getting married we would go out for a meal, or a simple pub crawl, get the groom drunk, strip him naked and chain him to a pole. My how things have changed. Now stag nights are held weeks, sometimes months in advance, the guys have gone abroad to hide their dirty needs and dirty deeds, while the 'Hen party' go on a pub crawl, cover a Chippendale type stripper in baby oil and slide up and down on his pole, ultimately ending with him squirting Anchor cream, or something similar sounding, all over her tattooed, pierced torso.

Meanwhile the guys over in Eastern Europe are watching a highly paid, unchained willing participant provide the entertainment for the red faced stag. Could be worse, it could have been him on public display on a pole in the early hours of the morning. I guess we have evolved a little at least.

The question of need and the supply in the sex industry is as old as the profession itself. If there were no dancers or prostitutes would there be people scouring the streets raping innocent women. I know there will always be rapists and murderers, but do they decrease because we have ladies of the night. You could say that it would actually reduce the number of rapes and murders if they took them off the streets, hooker haters like Sutcliffe and Jack the ripper might have ended up model citizens. I am not blaming the women, or condoning violence towards women or anyone for that matter, I am trying to make the point that there are arguments for and against the need for a sex industry.

So are Lap dancing clubs just a bit of harmless fun? I admit I was persuaded to visit one with two friends one night. Neither of us were on a stag night, in fact my mates were divorced, lack of sex from their wives was one of the reasons, I don't think that's how the court papers worded it but that was the gist of it, Husbands unreasonable sexual demands or something like that.

This is one of my theories on why men use lap dancing clubs and/or brothels. The trouble with us men is we want you ladies to multitask, now as the masters of that talent we find it difficult to accept that you can't be our whore in the bedroom, a loving Mother to our children and a Lady everywhere other than in the bedroom. It's a fact that many men like to just talk to women when they visit clubs or other establishments, some like to practice their little quirks and fantasies that they wouldn't dream of asking the mother of his children to perform. This could be one of the reasons too many men are out hugging curbs instead of at home hugging their partners.

I would personally prefer to stick pound notes down my girlfriends knickers in the privacy of my own flat, pound notes? shows how long ago it was. I would willingly don my g-string and gyrate for my partner in return for her efforts, well OK to get my pound notes back also.

There is an obvious solution to this problem for the girls that feel used and exploited, DON'T DO IT, GET A PROPER DECENT JOB. And there in lays the problem, they know they are in an industry that pays like no other job, you can rise to the top of your profession without any danger of being beaten onto the board by one of those bosses you dance for on a regular basis, you are top dogs and you are welcome to it.

You have equal rights, you chained yourself to the railings and burnt items of clothing years ago to symbolise this, I think it's time you put them back on. You complained of being chained to the kitchen sink and were set free to seek whatever you desired and rightly so. Incidentally, I didn't see any chains on the legs or arms of those women that danced for my two friends when we entered that establishment, I was merely there for research purposes you understand which I knew would come in handy one day, who would of thought this day would ever come.

I am proud to say that I never actually stooped low enough to place any money in the dancers underwear, I thought it would be wrong to donate money to a cause that would only lead to her wanting to stay in the job even longer. The truth of the matter is there will always be guys willing to depart with their titty tokens while there are women who when asked why they do it often come up with a reason like "We don't know anything else" well use some of the money to learn instead of mashing your brains up even more with drugs.

It looks like the slim shiny silver steel mountain will be climbed in clubs around the world forever more, why? Because it's there.