Nick is down, 'Again'

Sunday nights episode finally had everything, I even found myself laughing, although I wasn't on the floor like Nick. I have enjoyed comedy of different genres for longer than I can actually remember, I do know I thought I was colour blind until 1966. There is just something about someone falling over that is more amusing than anything a writer could create.

Claudia has gone from fashion car crash to showroom quality but there is still a little too much filler on her face and her headlamps have gone from full beam which at the beginning had me staring like a rabbit, stunned and frozen, to dipped and out of sight.

Anthea will be needing a makeover as much as Susan Boyle does in readiness for summer, she has taken a real battering from the Big mouth Jody eventually (5days too late in my opinion) got his comeuppance but not before he treated us to a lesson in Parkour both in the kitchen slithering around like a headless eel and jumping on trash bins over the wall instead of doing us all a favor and jumping straight into it. Expelled from school and arrested for possession of cannabis he relived those younger days being thrown out by head teacher Marco Pierre White who explained to his former pupil ‘I see myself in you when I was your age’. Well it could be a lesson for his later life, however saying he got everything out of the experience he wanted, including the statement ‘I’m still a winner’ he appears to have a speech impediment and can’t pronounce the word wanker. He should leave with his tea towel between his legs and feel very ashamed, not shameless.

Hey, next time you look at Grant Bovey, think Cliff Richard, do you think he looks like him or what? Also keep one eye on the floor and you might see Nick ‘Waiting’ on the carpet.
The ladies were in awe of Jean Christophe the dessert expert from France as he hosted his version of the Le generation jeu , he displayed par excellence making the royal white birds only to have Marco do his impression of the queen as it was ‘Orf with their heads’. All except Jody’s and Danielle’s I think it was.

It was a case of Hells kitchen goes to Albert square as the ginger one that was married to the girl with the nutty mother was out for dinner with the other nutter Mo, it would have made good TV if she had of been searched on the way out. Keep your eyes open over the coming weeks for items for sale on Bridge Street market. Lucky Lineker was absent, he wasn’t on match of the day 2 because there was that annoying monotone Brummy, Lee Dixon who is slightly more interesting and I think it was Paul Gascoigne, although it could have been Tom Hanks dropping in on his way to the rehearsals for the stage show of Philadelphia.

The usually angry bouncer was feeling in generous mood as he decided to cook the Fiancée of the white tied wonder a well done veal, ‘I knew he was trouble the moment he walked in with that tie on, although when he came up I think it was out of respect for the great white’ Where is his consistency? He and Nick ejected two other diner hopefuls before they were able to take advantage of Marcos philosophy ‘I am here to feed people’ one for complaining that there was too much Asparagus and the other for wanting something as ridiculous as a hot meal. In a restaurant? come on. It’s not some soup kitchen for gods (Marcos) sake.

For the starters they got a very respectful 7 out of 10, the main courses scored an impressive 8, but service, or entertainment as it was last night, I think Nick deserved a perfect 10 from all the judges that saw his wonderful delivery of ‘Hell on ice’

Ade, still my favorite to walk away with the top honour, admitted he had once been fired from a crisp factory for slicing potatoes too thick survived the first sacking this series as did Lovely Linda, ‘Honest’ Bruce Grobellar, delicious Danielle, Naomi who was willing to walk and the marital partnership of Cliff and Anthea, the right man got the chop and I will leave you with this thought from Atilla Jody the Hun, Success is not enough, everyone else must fail also. Bon appetite, bon voyage Jody.