After reading hundreds of tweets on twitter over the last week it became clear that the country had heard enough preaching from father Baldwin, a message which seemed to have made it's way through to the director of CBB7 and his daily sermons had been limited to once a week on a Sunday at 4.30 am hopefully. But there is a demon much worse lurking, waiting to take over the show, Jordan's/Katie's ex/current boyfriend Alex. I thought, as all other jungle celebrity viewers and Sun readers were told, it's all over, Katie chucked him on national TV, we heard it from the horses mouth, the one with the big saddle bags, you know, the girl whose feet have been in more than one kind of stirrups a few times more than most. Alex really is lost in this jungle called fame, he doesn't know what to say, why? because he is saying what he thinks someone wants to hear him say. He was explaining to Heidi how this was the one, Do you love her she asked? Alex confessed, 'I would die for her'. Yes, I guess you would, of suffocation with your head between her breasts. Perhaps that's what he thought Heidi meant when she said why do you want someone that comes with so much 'Baggage'.
Vinnie did his best to try and teach the wannabe actor, boxer, husband, father, gay, cross dresser a few valuable lessons but Alex was having none of it. It was great to hear Vinnie say 'If I was offered 5 million quid to be in a film with you I would turn it down, I wouldn't go near you'. It appears Alex has lots of people inside the house that genuinely want to help him, I mean he is kind of likable, he is being misled by people who want to make money from him opening his stupid naive mouth. Dane showed what a wise head he has on his shoulders explaining to Alex that maybe he should take the opportunity to use Big Brother to show the world who Alex Reid is and not what you think others want you to be, not just someones boyfriend or a cross dresser. Next it was the turn of preacher turned phsycologist Stephen to offer his diagnosis of Alex's condition explaining that he is 'A tossed salad'. Not a bad analogy to be truthful. I think Mr Baldwin saw him more as a fruit salad when he asked him to join Jonas in a twirl in their undies.
I so hope Heidi doesn't go on Friday, she has a lot more to offer and is getting more and more interesting. She has admitted her undying love for Vinnie and other little gems about how hard times were in prison, so hard in fact they they were forced to make dildos out of denture cream, brings a whole new meaning to the term oral sex doesn't it. If she does survive the first evictions can somebody please send in some clothes for her.
'Bracehunter' was very quiet tonight, he confessed to being a bit of a mummy's boy and it wouldn't surprise me if he is missing her, that's sweet, we all miss our mums don't we. His ex Katia was as boring as always, the only time we heard anything from her she was laughing, how irritating is that laugh? Sov was whinging in the diary room again and at one point when she accidentally made a rhyme up my thoughts went straight away to, noooooooooooo not another song coming when she gets out, hopefully that will be this friday, the eviction I mean not the recording studio. She loves her corned beef doesn't she, what, she will row with Vinnie Jones to get a bit of corned beef? Is she mental? We shall ask Sigmond Baldwin.
I think Vinnie got the proper hump for the first time, he didn't like the thought of anyone else in his kitchen, that's his manor. 'Sod ya, you do the cooking, do it all, do the washing up as well'. oooooooooo Vinnie, you miss ya pinny? He never does it at home though, he's got cleaners and a wife to do that. He is streets ahead of anyone else in the house personality wise, he is a sure winner which I think is sad really, it's a bit like the Gino d' Campo scenario. There was never anyone put in the jungle to challenge him and this feels the same with Vinnie, they needed someone else in the house with balls, with attitude, a bigger Hollywood star than him. It shows in peoples reaction towards him, no one wants to challenge him or disagree with him. Would be good to see a Mickey Rourke type or Mike Tyson, someone that can't be bullied.
I would like to see more from the tree of temptation and even some more challenges with all the housemates involved. Mastermind with Vinnie was kind of ok, if anyone knows the rules he does, maybe even a bit of a jobsworth, it was his hearing that let him down rather than his knowledge in the end, but at least Sov got some purple hair dye to save her from anymore bad hair day embarrassment, Nicola got a cuddly toy which I thought was rather nice being as she misses her child so much, Sisqo got a thong or something and Stephen got an ice cold beer, would of preferred coffee. Maybe give him some water he could turn it into wine for the normal people in the house. Just when you thought the preacher had been possessed Freud was exorcised and back came bible bashing Baldwin to finally sort out Alex Reid once and for all. He held his hand and got him to pray along, I actually believe he married Alex tonight, when Alex finds out he will be furious at the fact he never even got to wear a dress.
So, you have one more day of voting. Ask yourselves a question, who deserves to be there based solely on their performance in the house? Ivana and Stephanie for sure, Vinnie? well of course he is the winner so he has to stay to the end. Dane? Yeah i think so, he is honest, plays his part, gets involved, Nicola, yeah she can stay, she is naive, a sweetheart and only wants to please (You seen page 3 right) Sisqo needs to stay in with that butt to keep Stephen and the ladies happy, Stephen just because he is a loose cannon and doesn't think before he speaks, I so hope he annoys Vinnie and feels the wrath of a real God, Jonas has to stay also at least until the next eviction, even if only to keep him and Katia apart, she is leaving for sure, Heather Mills could be in there and Katia would still get voted out. Heidi has to stay at least until she provides exact instructions on the 101 uses for fixodent and that just leaves the purple headed baked bean thieving, corned beef hogging, attention seeking 'Lady' HUH! Lady? Sovereign. Yo Sov, sod off, heehee that rhymes, I'm gonna go and write anuvver song innit.
To vote for justice;
Katia 09011 323005
Sov 09011 323006
Oh I seem to have forgotten the other nominee, ah, never mind, those 2 are enough. See you on eviction night.
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