If one person has commanded the majority of the attention and headlines over the last 20 days, tonights show belonged to Nicola. She was outstanding (Pardon the pun) As she sat alone in the snug no doubt thinking about her Poppy she was thrown an olive branch from the 'Tree of temptation'. This again was a stroke of genius on the part of BB. The tree can get away with talking to anyone how it wants. Who wouldn't want to see Vinnie Jones wound up by a talking tree? I think he would try and uproot it, so please BB producers sort it out. But for now this was Nicolas moment, her task was to insult all 6 housemates and then kiss them on the cheek, only on the cheek, no tongues she was reminded by the tree, 'I know what you page 3 girls are like.
Not an easy task but the first few insults came very easy to her, first to be tango'd was Ivana who was told she 'looked like a big fat orange'. Next on the end of her lips was Daney Divito, Jonas was told he bore a resemlance to Roland rat although that went over his head, I don't think Roland was very famous in Sweden. Alex who could of been branded with the same insult as Ivana was the subject of a different coloured affliction when told his teeth were green, then yellow, 'I only had them whitened the day before I came in here'. Only 2 more insults and she would win what obviously means more to her than anything in the world (Apart from the BB pay cheque) a message from her family. How can you insult Stephanie, she is perfect isn't she? 'You have a big bush on your head' Don't ask me I'm only the messenger, it worked, she got her kiss and only one to go. How can you insult Vinnie Jones? He is far from perfect, I mean, how can you assault him and escape with your life. This one was going to take a bit of thinking, she went back to the tree for some inspiration. She asked the tree for some help, it's impossible to kiss Vinnie he is too tall she protested to the tree. I liked the big fat orange it said, but you still gotta do Vinnie. When she asked for some clues on what she could do the tree said well if I was going to insult you I might call you a 'Bruce Forsyth lookialike' or go on about 'How fick' you are, but she didn't twig what it called her. Finally with only 20 minutes left on the clock she went into the kitchen and told Vinnie he has put on a lot of weight, but he wasn't having any of it and avoided the 'Minger'. Eventually he let her kiss him when she explained that she had always wanted to kiss Vinnie Jones.
She had done it, she was summoned to the diary room and was rewarded with a home video of her parents and baby Poppy, it was very touching, no honestly, it was. But you know I just can't help thinking in the back of my mind that she chose to be away from them, but a nicer way to look at it I suppose is she doesn't have to stop living her life and dreams just because she has a child. See I can be nice also.
Stephanie was interesting tonight, I liked her sticking up for Sisqo against Vinnie when she said he is from a tough background and he has done well for himself. She talked about how she lived in a commune in the 60's and if Vinnie had of been in there with them his level of cleanliness might of got him into trouble. In true Jones fashion he explained that if Sisqo had of been in there much longer he would of thrown him through the window, surely that's in contravention of rule 6 also Vinnie. Steph was right though, 2 great characters left the house on Friday.
Again the celebrities got to what they all like talking about, themselves, Stephanie talking about when she went out with Marlon Brando, 'Who'? asked Nicola. 'Did you bonk him'? Classy, it was like watching a David Frost interview. Heidi had also 'Bonked' Brando apparently, but she was much prettier in those days Stephanie assured us, 'I was actually quite shocked when I saw her walk in the house'. She probably never realised until that point that Heidi can in fact walk. Monday night there is a 2 hour documentary on channel 4 at 11pm entitled Heidi Fleiss, Hollywood madame, worth a watch I think.
At 4:37pm today in the house Vinnie Jones said 'I represent the people. I'm the one most like them'. Then at 7:35pm Vinnie Jones said 'Aren't house keepers, gardeners, car valets, dog parlours and pool cleaners expensive'
Yes I agree Vinnie, that's why us people you represent don't have any of those things, I don't even have a house, or pool, no garden, or car, I don't even have a dog and if I had a hundred dollars I wouldn't be going golfing. I don't think I will be buying toothpaste from the same shop as Stephanie either. 'If i go out to buy toothpaste with a hundred dollars in my pocket I come back with nothing'. No wonder everyone in Hollywood has white teeth. Never mind Stephanie, next time you are walking down the classy Mulholland drive you will see a Union Jack flying high in Vinnie's front garden, real classy, that's worse than looking like a Brit on holiday in Lanzarote.
Charades is always a good laugh, especially when it's all about celebrity faux pas's, even more so when that particular fact is explained by Vinnie Jones. How is it pronounced Vinnie? Forz Pass? They were not surprisingly very good at this task to win extra minutes in bed, OK most of the clues did involve stories about Alex, Katie and Dane, but it was a good idea, just a shame they didn't show more of it. I think the editing made the housemates seem a lot brighter than most of them actually are.
Vinnie commented on the poor quality of celebrities in the house this year, a fact he put down to the shows budget and not being able to afford people like Pamela Anderson or Boy George, I think Boy George had a certain item of jewellery that was forbidden by law to allow him entry into this lock in.
So by 9.37 pm all the over 40's were in bed fast asleep, leaving the youngsters to have some fun playing a drinking game. Nicola was straight in with the first question in a truth or dare style game admitting, 'I haven't actually masturbated in the BB house', Jonas replying, 'I almost did but Sisqo walked in and disturbed me'. The next topic thrown into the conversation by Nicola again was have you ever had sex with more than one person at a time. Alex and Jonas both had but Alex said he couldn't remember anything about it but had seen photographic evidence. 'How bad is that he said, 5 girls and I don't remember a thing about ir, that's awful'. If you weren't shocked or surprised by that little te ta tate, perhaps learning that in a room of 3 guys and one girl that Nicola was the only one who hasn't had a sex toy in her arse!!! I hope they will put that on a special video and send it to her family, Awwwww isn't she such a sweetie.
More of the tree please Big Brother before the next evictions on Wednesday, I want to see Vinnie tested by someone he can't bully and control. Any ideas for tasks the tree could make him perform? Something which would mean he had to act gay would be funny.
You need to get voting for the person you want to stay in the house. Call the numbers below to save your favourite from eviction.
Alex 09011 323 001
Dane 09011 323 002
Ivana 09011 323 012
Jonas 09011 323 004
Nicola 09011 323 007
Stephanie 09011 323 009
Vinnie 09011 323 011
Tune into Big Brother's little Brother with George Lamb Monday E4 at 6pm.
channel 4 at 9pm for the main show and if you still haven't had enough you can watch them all sleep later on the same channel at 1am straight after that must see 2 hour documentary on Heidi Fleiss Hollywood madame which begins at 11pm.
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