Help the aged, nice track from Pulp, two phrases that set out Big Brothers stall for day nine.
Last Legs home for retired celebrities opened it's automatic doors for business, although the term 'Retired celebrities' was hardly the correct name, most of the patients' careers haven't even started yet. They put the oldest and most eligible patients to work as the carers, not only did they find it difficult keeping up with the demands of the juvenile oldies, Ivana struggled to make so much as a cup of tea, I wouldn't mind betting she has never had to do that before. Stephanie looked rather sexy in her pig tails if I may say so. But Fanny and Delia struggled to blend and everything turned to pulp.
I liked the outfits and make up they were given, Sisqo looked like one of Eddie Murphy's characters, Stephen was a dead ringer for Norman Wisdom, Alex gave Katie a sneak preview of what he will look like in old age, not that they will last that long of course, he looked like my Grandad after spending the winter in Gran Canaria. Sov looked and sounded like one of the old ladies from the Harry Enfield and chums show, oooooooooo young man, at your age. The producers seemed to show their fear of Vinnie by making him exempt from any fancy dress again, Heidi looked like death, Nicola no different, Dane quite distinguished with a bit of grey, Katia was made to wear a stupid pair of glasses and a silly hat, no hardship for her then and her ex Jonas showing signs of a nasty rash no doubt he contracted some kind of skin allergy eating all that perfume off Katia's neck, that should soon heal up then.
I thought the Countdown idea was brilliant, Vinnie's sense of humour shone again, Jeff Stelling mentioned the fact that footballers were usually rather good at countdown and Matthew Le Tissier had been on the show before and performed very well, Vinnie said 'Yeah, he went to university, I went to prison'. Sisqo was very aggrieved at not being picked for the team to face the countdown champion, it reminded me of being at school picking teams and there was always one with his hand up 'pick me pick me' and when he wasn't he got quite angry. Tempers are beginning to get a bit frayed in the house two days into week two and things were not helped by the 5 chosen ones struggling to come up with any words containing more than 5 letters, I laughed as the champion figured out a 9 letter answer and Dane hit back with 'Come on mate we trying to eat here'. They didn't do any better in the numbers game although Ivan worked out the maths question very well for a woman not far away from being of eligible age to qualify for senile dementia and Alzheimer's.
Sov went down in my estimations a lot tonight, she spat her dummy about the terrible service provided by Hinge and Bracket, she did seem a little over keen to get her hands on a sausage milk shake and went on a rampage around the garden shouting obscenities aimed at Ivana, aw, bless her, she was trying so hard to keep everyone happy, but after all their efforts no one wanted to eat anyway.
Alex had another bizarre conversation with Vinnie about Joe Calzagi, I couldn't quite make out if Alex wanted to fight him or not? It seems Stephen has lost his bible thank 'God' and seems hell bent on making Nicolas life in the house a misery, he still proclaims his innocence in what I am already calling 'Nominationgate', it does seem he is trying to start an unnecessary war. Surely not, an American doing something as silly as that?
I am really enjoying my first experience of life in the house but I do feel at times it needs an injection of something, maybe Sov and Katia will get it on just to rub a bit more salt in the swedes wounds and treat the nation to a real life demonstration of the meaning of that 8 letter word 'Tribades'. But it was one to every bed tonight as Katia reminded Jonas and just for a change, Ivana and Stephanie were for once not on the receiving end of a bit of tucking in.
Phone lines are open until Friday when 2 will leave the house
To vote Heidi out call 09011 323003
Dial 09011 323005 to say Dasvidania to Katia or
if you want Sov to Sod off call 09011 323006
15p from every call goes to Comic relief.
If you would like to leave your thoughts on CBB you can do so below or email me at
twittertalkwhite@gmail.com
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