Grumpy middleaged man. These are a few of my least favourite things

As i grow older it seems more things annoy me, or is it that when I was younger I believed I had more important things going on in my life, things that I cared more about, like drinking, girls, football and drinking, girls and football.

I never used to let trivial things bother me, or are they trivial? I have always known the correct and polite way to conduct myself, but maybe I too was once too much of a 'Twat' to worry about it.

I will put my pet hates in list form but in no particular order other than that's the way they come into my head, because number 1 is first it doesn't mean it annoys me anymore than number 10, although the reason for today's number 1 is the fact that it happened to me on my way to the park earlier today.

1. I was driving in a polite manner as I always do, if the obstruction is on my side I will stop and allow oncoming traffic their right of way, sometimes I will even reverse back if I have gone a little prematurely (Something I hasten to add happens a lot less the older you get, so there's one positive from a negative). If I am the recipient of such politeness i never fail to show my appreciation with a flash of the lights or a wave of my hand, most of the time I oblige with both. So why do so many other people think it is their God given right to swan around the roads like they own a larger proportion of them than I do? I cannot stand ignorance. Wave, smile, even a little flash (Of your lights) It will make you feel better as well as me.

2. Oh here we go, celebrities that have had such a hard life they turn to alcohol and drugs. They complain about how hard it was coping with fame and fortune. Get over yourselves and go and try doing a proper days work. Do what I did, as I wasn't lucky enough to have been born with a silver spoon or a microphone in my mouth. Early mornings in the English and Estonian winters, digging holes and shovelling shit for 8 hours a day, then have to spend the rest of your life on pain killing prescription drugs for a bad back. You need to be sent to the workhouse not rehab.

3. Kind of a lead on from the previous rant, the 'Ladette' culture looks as if it is here to stay and get even more acceptable in today's and future society. If I happen to be lucky enough to get a Grandson I think it will be impossible for him to ever know what it feels like to have the love of a Lady. There will be so few left, but I guess they will be easier to spot, they will stand out in the crowd as the only one on 2 legs upright and not sprawled out drunk with their skirts round their necks and a condom hanging out of every orifice. I am not suggesting we go back to Victorian times, but i don't want to live in Dicktorian times either. There are enough male idiots in the world without you girls adding to it, besides, you are so much more attractive when you are ladies, oh, but not in the bedroom OK.

4. Phone in competitions on daytime TV and phone in voting! We are at the stage now where we the public are paying in so many different ways for the trash TV channels are dishing up. You are not offering any prizes, you are getting all the public to donate the prize then giving some of it to the winner and using the rest to make the next hour of rubbish. We should all agree one day to let just 1 person call in for the £25,000 cash prize their mortgage paid for a year and free hair extensions for life whatever they are bribing you poor bored housewives with on 'This Morning'.

Let's sting them, make them put up the prize. But you know what, we wont, because we are either gullible or brainwashed. The world has gone mad, TV has gone bad and creativeness is stifled by easy off the shelf reality shows, so not only do they want us to pay for everything they want us to be the bloody stars as well.

5. The cube. Do I really need to say anything other than it's a kids show presented by a kids TV presenter. So ITV move them both to where they belong.

6. Employers. I hate the way employers today suffer from two major faults. Narrow mindedness and their inability to give the older job hunter the opportunity to prove that they can do the job as well as, if not far better than the new kids on the block. I have been actively seeking employment in London for the past three months. I have applied in various fields including different sales positions in direct sales, telesales, customer service, retail sales, call centres (I don't think they could understand my accent), building and construction and i even got desperate enough to apply for an estate agent position.

I can understand them wanting to hire a 20 year old instead of a 48 year old with tonnes of life experience, in fact no I can't understand it. They will be drunk for the weekend which means Monday is out of the question, they might wake up by noon in time to check their personal emails and Facebook messages, switch on MSN and it will be time for a liquid lunch and a hair of the dog. Back by 3 to have a scroll through Twitter to see what they have been missing and that's basically Monday done. Tuesday will be spent catching up on Mondays work, plus of course Twitter, Beebo, Facebook MSN and oh yeah someone they met at the weekend on a late night chat line only has Yahoo so I better download that as no one ever downloads yahoo unless its to use so the girlfriend doesn't catch you.

Repeat for Wednesday for catch up on Tuesday and Thursday might get Wednesdays back log sorted and then Friday it's time to get ready for the weekend, maybe get the latest games and tunes on the ipadstationberry, then a nice early Friday to beat the traffic home. Or is that just me being ageist?

7. People that lick celebrities arses as if they are Gods, I don't think even a Gods arse deserves licking by the way. You see it all the time on Twitter, it's like everyone is afraid to say what they feel just in case they offend them, trust me they probably either wont see it or reply to it if they do. I hate when celebrities are interviewed, I mean when the interviewer reads out the questions given to them by the celebrity, they write nearly all their own questions and will only do the interview if the host agrees. Well what's the point of asking questions the celeb wants asked? I want to know what I want to know.

Yes I know if i was a chat show host nobody would want to come on because they want the safe questions, well I ain't interested in safe and boring, I want to be entertained, to know stuff I didn't hear asked on the radio show in the morning, or on every other channel that they are pushing their latest book or movie on. Same with politicians, they never ever answer a question, well I don't want to see them interviewed then. If they do answer it's with another question, maybe they should be the chat show hosts and the chat show hosts the politicians, yeah, Wogan for Prime minister.

I was surprised the other night watching Qi XL to see Jimmy Carr totally blown out of the water by Jack Dee and Alan Davies, without a script Carr was made to look inferior and totally out of his depth. Stick to your scripted stuff Jimmy, improv isn't for you. See, that's my boot up his arse not my tongue.

8. News of the world newspaper. Intrusive, sensationalising, scare mongering trappers and destroyers of celebrities, the lowest of the low. Keep up the good work.

9. Call centres and mobile phone companies, well, mainly mobile phone call centres, but in general any company you call and have to go through a list of options pressing all different keys, type in your mobile number, then wait 15 minutes on hold listening to some annoying music. If my signal is still strong enough and i don't get cut off, which is incidentally the reason for my call in the first place, the first thing they ask for is your phone number!

Recently because 12 out of 17 of my nearest masts have faults you can imagine I have been cut off many times before actually getting to speak to a human. Ah maybe the reason the recording asks you to type in your number is so they can call you back if they lose you, no chance.

If you are lucky enough to get through the chances of you understanding the person on the other end of the phone in Delhi are almost zero. That's why there are numbers on their menus in restaurants, we cant understand you and you us so keep off my mobile help line, you are not helping. I thought I was lucky the other day I got transferred to a British call centre, in Glasgow, thanks a lot, I asked them immediately to put me back to Delhi.

While I am on the subject of accents, I think the BBC are going slightly overboard with the use and good will gesture of intergrating Welsh, Irish and Scottish presenters. I don't think you will hear many English presenters in their countries.

10. I hate the fact that all these best or worst of articles always come in tens.